...decided honesty is not the best policy

cheating is the new monogamy. i have started sleeping with a few guys with girlfriends. one guy ive been getting to know is married with a kid and is coming to see me in two weeks. one is the best sex ive had in ages and is incredibly hot and is hilariously over eager. all my best girls, well the single ones, keep finding themselves falling for or gettting with guys who then reveal are "kind of seeing someone". ultimately boy code for "in a very serious long term relationship". thier facebook status even says, in a relationship with.... not that we have been checking. my theory is that i would never cheat on anyone and if anyone cheated on me, i would cut thier dick off. however, if someone wants to cheat and they are hot, well that is their problem. and i am here to help. my friend has unfortunately fallen for a guy with a live in girl and asked for my advice on how to cope with the potential fun and pitfalls of an affair. i wanted to share my advice to her, because remaining guilt free, maintaining deniability and knowing that you are the winner is most important to survival and i found it quite empowering. this is a guide for deciding and preparing for entering into such a situation.

1. you are doing nothing wrong. you are not kissing or fucking him (or any other inappropriate behaviour) no matter how much you may be doing it in real life. convice yourself of this and you will be fine and will not faulter if someone questions you. you have to genuinely believe it your self and believe you are doing nothing wrong.
2. if you manage to get your self in that mind set. then you are pretty much ready to do anything. you have deniability!
3. however. if you think you will get much too into him to your detriment, then it might not be wise to pursue it too much, cause you will get hurt and feel rubbish every time he sees her, talks to her, and every minute he isnt with you.
4. but, when you really like someone none of that matters, an the pain is worth the good times. till the weight of the pain does not balance the fun.
5. so once you have weighed up if the pain is worth it, and have got total self belief in your deniability. then have fun! nothing beats a secret affair. 
6. one point to note would be to find out his intentions. for you to do this he has to be up for throwing caution to the wind when he is with you alone. you dont want all the emotions and pain for no banging!!! he has to bang you, or dont do it!!!!
7. you have to be strong and take silent pleasure that he picked you and you have the power (convicnce yourself of this) despite the fact he wont leave her and will ulitmately choose her, you still have the upper hand cause you are the fun, bit on the side, dirty secret, and he would risk everything for you. you have to believe you are better than her by being the mistress! even if that is all you ever are.
8. enjoy it.
9. when it hurts to much, stop it. and be aware that might mean having to change part of your life where your lives intersected. 
10. and finally. be prepared that people might find out. you have deniability. but if that fails you could also be hated. but that will be by a girl you dont know and her boring friends. oh and judgemental people. and probably a few more besides. so make sure you can handle that. your real friends wouldnt ever hold it against you though. unless it is one of their boyfriends. and that might have needed a few more points to cover surviving that!


yes i am a mega bitch. sorry. maybe honesty is not the best policy, in all ways.

...did 3 best friends

back when i was more messy and more involved in our little local community i ended up fucking 3 guys who were best mates and were all major players. one night we were out at dinner, the four of us, and they were talking about girls they had fucked and when one guy had fucked a girl another of them had, the third guy would take the piss and they thought it was gross. the whole conversation i was just sat there smiling to myself and laughing. then i asked if anyone fucked all three of them, and they were like, no way. they were all pretty sure of this, running through possible girls who they had and discounting them, till i pointed out that i had. that made the conversation for the rest of the night much more interesting. all three were totally different situations. one was filthy, once we had a threesome and another time i pissed on him before he fucked me and filmed it in our mates toilet at a party. the other was a bit of a regular and we kind of liked each other. and the other was a total mistake. he was at mine wasted, we were just hanging out doing poppers, as you do and the next thing we know we were fucking. it has always been a proud achievement to have been the only girl, out of the many, many, many between them, that got 3 all of them.

...realised i am everyones dirty secret

so after a particularly traumatic experience last night, that i will write about later, i have come to realise that i am everyones dirty secret. as ex 1 left last night he kept repeating over and over, please dont tell anyone, lets just keep this between us, i dont want anyone talking about this or asking me if im fucking you again. he went on so much that i ended up shouting at him till he left. now i am as big a fan as anyone of secret little affairs, subtle flirtations, taboo relations and being only one of two people that know what is really going on. however  there is something totally different about someone paranoidly repeating dont tell anyone, dont tell anyone, like some kind of mantra, after they have cum. and last night was not the first time this has happened. 

pirate was, and still is a big fan of this technique of anti flattery. he texts me and chats to me all the time, teasing the idea of fucking, then freaking out about anyone finding out and then not doing it incase anyone finds out. 30 is already doing it about the chats we have, let alone the fucking. and there are at least 4 more, that in recent times have done the same. el freaked out so much she was texting me like 10 times a day till i ended up shouting at her and we fell out, an then she made me tell everyone i had made it up an was just a big lie and that i was pretty much mental, just so no one would know.

i think the worst part is the post sex freak out. they got what they wanted, but then they are more worried about what other people would think about them fucking me than about just enjoying it. not that it stops them, in most cases, doing it, or wanting to do it again. it would be great if everyone was open, relaxed and found fucking just a fun and casual activity. but the reality is, most people aren't like that and more importantly, are hung up about what other people think. its a shame cause everyone could have much more and much better sex, and much less emotional stress and pressure if we could all, guilt free, just do what we want. i do that, and its awesome. however i often forget that other people see me being so open about sex and having so much sex with lots of different people, differently to me. some love it, some people dont care, some people hate it and it makes some people think of me as a guilty pleasure. they dont want other people knowing they would do something with someone like me. or dont want the gossip that surrounds it, or they dont want to be another one of my stories, but they do want to fuck me. i guess if it is the choice of me being like i am, or me being like them, then i am more than happy to be some peoples dirty little secret.

...started a to do list

so as i type, i am sitting here waiting for confirmation from the boy that it is officially over. i have actually been waiting on this for nearly a week now and have lost patience and am feeling a little over it all. so to occupy me over the past week i have started lining up my new to do list which will be put into effect as soon as the confirmation email/call has been received. i've attempted to prioritise them and then i can also keep a tab on where i stand once it has all kicked off.

1. 100 -   obviously
2. 30 -     we have been lining each other up for over a year and for some unknown reason we havent got it on yet. ive already been hardcore skyping with him this week. oops.
3. Ex1 -   we split up about a year ago. dont think we've seen each other since, but have been texting the past few days and we really wanna fuck each other. it sounds like he has turned into a dirty little boy in the past year.
4. Pirate - I have written about him before and we have been lining each other up this week
5. Pfm -   I have to work around him an we have been flirting insanely for months. i want him more than anything.
6. AS -    I went out with his mate almost a year ago an pretty much the whole time we have been chattin, texting and skyping. we really wanna fuck, but he doesnt live in ldn, but goes out here an is moving soon. phew.
7. DRM - Fit DJ. We talk alot but have never actually met. but we have said we want to soon, for fucking.
8. WB -   I fucked him a couple of years ago by mistake, but we always talk dirty and i lined him up this week.
9. Jowe - I've talked about him pursuing me before. he still has a famous gf but still really wants to fuck me.
10. LR -    He manages a venue in another town. spend 2 an half hours with him last night tellin each other how much we wanted to fuck if only we were both single.

100 just text me about meeting up tomorrow, so that will be good. and that means i will get him first. nice to ease back into single sex with an old friend. i have to loose any nerves i have cause from now on, i dont say no, and i dont let any opportunity pass me by.