...couldnt keep up!!

im already way behind on what ive been up to. thursday night i had a threesome with step brothers. we roleplayed me being their older sister and i controlled my naughty little brothers and used them to satisfy myself in every way possible. much dp was done. and then friday and saturday night i spent being alpha to a beautiful boy who is normally dominant but wants me to control him and use him for my pleasure. i bought a strap on especially for him and for the first time got to properly fuck someone. it was a quick learning curve for me and i spent the weekend having the best sex in the best company. i havent had that much sex with one person in such a short amount of time in years. normally i get bored after a couple of times of them cumming. or im just done. or they are out. but this time, i cant get enough. i cant keep my hands, face, tongue, pussy and dick off of him.

im doing a rape roleplay tomorrow in the woods on my walk, so that will be exciting. and hopefully im gonna have a bit of time to keep up with all my explorations on here!

...started my own sexual revolution.

this week has already been one of the best for personal growth and sexual growth i have had in years. i feel like everything i know, am, and have been is all coming together and making me stronger, more confident and happy. the sum of my parts is greater than the different people i have been through the years. i no longer feel disjointed. i feel like i am everything i have ever been, not a wisp, bending and changing and moving on from past experiences. this strength and confidence in my self, my abilities and experience has led me to take the bull by the horns when it comes to my sex life.

i have always identified as a "pleaser". i like to make men happy. to make their bodies and dicks feel good and to act in the perfect porn way for them. but this does NOT get me off. my satisfaction and enjoyment of acts came second to my desire to impress. this isnt how i feel any more. i have realized my true sexuality and have started acting on it. and this has led to two of the best sexual experiences of my life. and also i am talking to the other men im interested in the way i want to get what i want. i am not a girl, in need of a man to lead me and validate me. i am a powerful, experienced alpha female who gets off on enjoying peoples bodies and living out fantasies, pushing boundaries and directing how men interact with my body. i know how to make myself feel good. i sure as hell know how to fuck. so just cause im not the one with the dick doesnt mean i cant control all of that. even when im face down, ass up, getting railed.

gone are the days of lying back and taking it, reacting to the boy as if he was doing something spectacular, while in my head im thinking about anything else, eyes closed, porn persona taking over. i no longer will deny myself pleasure in order to try and control how people see me. nothing is sexier than someone genuinely enjoying themselves. and i have enough skills and experience that what i do for my pleasure is incredibly good for the person on the receiving end.

i am in control. i am alpha. the way i act out my sexuality is with me in control, pleasing someone how i enjoy it, making sure its turning me on more than them and my mind isnt wandering because i am bored. i am fully engaged and its causing me to have more, deeper, longer, more satisfying orgasms, quicker than ever before. its changed everything in myself. i am no longer afraid to lay out what i want and how i am going to use the next beautiful man to achieve it, and tell them everything how i want it. its only been a few days, but so far im incredibly excited to have go to the point where i have finally started my own sexual revolution.

...buried my face in a peach

im wide awake again and just had another mind blowing sexual experience. i am so glad i am settling into my sexuality and enjoying being the real me. 2 just left. we planned to spend the night rimming each other and playing with each others asses. which is basically what happened. i let myself loose on this perfect butt and used my mouth from the tip of his cock round to his asshole for almost an hour. i didnt hold back and buried my face deep within his cheeks, using my tongue, gently, tickling his hole, plunging it in as deep as i could, suffocating myself on his ass, i sucked and tongued and kissed his gooch and balls, stroking his cock when my lips werent tickling the shaft. i did everything with my mouth that felt great. i have already lost track of what happened when and how. i came, lying between his thighs, face disappeared between is round, firm cheeks, not able to take a breath for having my tongue so far up his asshole. and i had an incredible, huge orgasm after fucking me for ages after i finished with my mouth. i was impressed he lasted so long after an hour of teasing. we finished up with him fucking me slowly while i lay face down with him straddling my thighs, my vibe on my clit pushing me over the edge. the walls of my pussy clinging to his rock hard cock

...had the best sex of my life

i know for sure, 100% i just had the best sex of my life. with a stranger. i met him on the swinger site yesterday. he likes a woman in control and i have been wanting to flex my alpha muscles. we decided upon tease and denial, fluffy dom shit. he was really hot and lean, which is why i chose to see him first this week. he was gonna lie there and let me tease and edge him as long as i wanted and use his body for my pleasure. and that is exactly what i did.

now, time out, this is now the time i come clean about all the times ive acted out, or been in, scenarios where i am using someone for my pleasure, but have in fact been putting on a act as the porn version of my sexuality, to make sure the men i aleep with, have their fantaises fulfiled. This has however been at the detriment of the fulfilment of my fantaies, but i felt i wouldnt meet anyone who would be up for what im into and that i would feel shy or embarrased to behave like i needed to act out such fantasies. tonight, however, before 1 came over i had a revelation about who i really am. not who i think i am, who i feel like, what i think other people see, or what someone made me feel i was. i saw myself with loving eyes. and it feels incredible. i felt the power to be the woman in my fantasy.

...joined a swingers website

im not going into sexual detail right now cause what i need to do is schedule the rest of my week to fit in all the fun im trying to have! i am caring for my nan at the moment so i only have two nights or days can i do things. so im planning a variety of sneaky fun. this is who im trying to fit in:

1. Bo - wants to be controlled. i want to tease and edge him for as long as i see fit.
2. Ben - has a beautiful butt and body and wanna bury our faces in our butts
3. Bill - just has a massive cock. it looks so amazing. i want to just be left to play with it how i want!
4. Con - is hottt. we wanna try some kinky roleplay, currently deciding what exactly!
5. Mr P - he came over last time and ate a strangers cum out my pussy before cumming in my mouth and letting me kiss him and give it all back to him. very skilled too.
6. Hunger - wants to explore some bi play and is offering to bring a friend along to play.

6 could be useful to come in after any of these and get up to similar play as last time. i would like him to be my cum slut again. that is definitely something i am very into. i need to explore my cuckold side desperately. also none of these cover my need for sleep rape. i have to get someone in tonight i think for that, well any night. i love it. i wont wake up, ill let someone come in and use me however they can with my limp body.

i was trying to get 5 to come with me to see 6, but he isnt up for it. ill just be fucking him in the ass with his strap on instead.

got 1 booked in for tonight, 2 for tomo and ill have to have 3 on thursday, followed by 5 to eat his cum and take it in the ass.

no i have to find a play mate for me and 6 for friday. then i still have saturday. and i think ive just found somone im very interested in making a video with!

busy week. im like a kid in a sweet shop since i joined a swingers website!