...used a glory hole

i have attempted to write this story about four or five times now and i still dont know what tone i want to give it. maybe that is the point. it has to be both. it was fun, crazy, sexy, exciting but it was also boring, gross, unnerving and unsatisfying. as was my host. id met him on tinder two or so days before and had immediately got onto the idea of having a night of crazy sex. he was in a open relationship and likes playing with men and women. i had been searching for some bi MMF time and had been struggling to find what i wanted. the day before i had even swore off tinder as a waste of time at finding me good sex with good people. we clicked instantly and were planning how we could live out some of my fantasies. we decided we would use craigslist to advertise and get our selves extra people to come over and play with us. we swapped ideas of the combinations of dynamics we wanted to try out. me controlling him and another man, getting fucked by him while he got fucked in the ass, letting random guys come over and use me in a sleep rape role play, me just getting to watch him with a guy like i wasnt there, him controlling me while another guy fucks me, etc, etc, etc! i was so excited and so turned on, but had to wait till the next night to see him. i filled in that night with another guy i found on tinder. but that is a different story.

...couldnt keep up!!

im already way behind on what ive been up to. thursday night i had a threesome with step brothers. we roleplayed me being their older sister and i controlled my naughty little brothers and used them to satisfy myself in every way possible. much dp was done. and then friday and saturday night i spent being alpha to a beautiful boy who is normally dominant but wants me to control him and use him for my pleasure. i bought a strap on especially for him and for the first time got to properly fuck someone. it was a quick learning curve for me and i spent the weekend having the best sex in the best company. i havent had that much sex with one person in such a short amount of time in years. normally i get bored after a couple of times of them cumming. or im just done. or they are out. but this time, i cant get enough. i cant keep my hands, face, tongue, pussy and dick off of him.

im doing a rape roleplay tomorrow in the woods on my walk, so that will be exciting. and hopefully im gonna have a bit of time to keep up with all my explorations on here!

...had the best sex of my life

i know for sure, 100% i just had the best sex of my life. with a stranger. i met him on the swinger site yesterday. he likes a woman in control and i have been wanting to flex my alpha muscles. we decided upon tease and denial, fluffy dom shit. he was really hot and lean, which is why i chose to see him first this week. he was gonna lie there and let me tease and edge him as long as i wanted and use his body for my pleasure. and that is exactly what i did.

now, time out, this is now the time i come clean about all the times ive acted out, or been in, scenarios where i am using someone for my pleasure, but have in fact been putting on a act as the porn version of my sexuality, to make sure the men i aleep with, have their fantaises fulfiled. This has however been at the detriment of the fulfilment of my fantaies, but i felt i wouldnt meet anyone who would be up for what im into and that i would feel shy or embarrased to behave like i needed to act out such fantasies. tonight, however, before 1 came over i had a revelation about who i really am. not who i think i am, who i feel like, what i think other people see, or what someone made me feel i was. i saw myself with loving eyes. and it feels incredible. i felt the power to be the woman in my fantasy.