i know for sure, 100% i just had the best sex of my life. with a stranger. i met him on the swinger site yesterday. he likes a woman in control and i have been wanting to flex my alpha muscles. we decided upon tease and denial, fluffy dom shit. he was really hot and lean, which is why i chose to see him first this week. he was gonna lie there and let me tease and edge him as long as i wanted and use his body for my pleasure. and that is exactly what i did.
now, time out, this is now the time i come clean about all the times ive acted out, or been in, scenarios where i am using someone for my pleasure, but have in fact been putting on a act as the porn version of my sexuality, to make sure the men i aleep with, have their fantaises fulfiled. This has however been at the detriment of the fulfilment of my fantaies, but i felt i wouldnt meet anyone who would be up for what im into and that i would feel shy or embarrased to behave like i needed to act out such fantasies. tonight, however, before 1 came over i had a revelation about who i really am. not who i think i am, who i feel like, what i think other people see, or what someone made me feel i was. i saw myself with loving eyes. and it feels incredible. i felt the power to be the woman in my fantasy.
