...first has sex in the Bus.

Bus gets a capital B because she is my best friend. She is getting her drive shaft fixed right now and I'm in the office of the mechanics, reading and writing erotic stories. So I have a lot of time to kill as I think we are gonna be here another night or 5, I might as well write about my first sex in the bus!

When I first got the Bus I was going through a bit of no sex phase. The previous few years had been really hard and I was still going through phases of recovery and growth. I had been intentionally celibate on and off. But eventually I started tentatively swiping on Bumble again.

I found a guy who said he wanted to practice massage for his certification exam in a few days, and was willing to give a free massage. I was a little wary, but it seemed nice and innocent enough, even though we had matched based off looks! I definitely harbor some massage fantasies, where the masseuses slowly and tentatively starts crossing that professional line, but as I was off sex at the time, I wasn't really hoping it would go anywhere. When he told me it would be happening at the massage place he was training at I was happy it would just be what he said, him practicing his massage skills.

...had the best sex of my life

i know for sure, 100% i just had the best sex of my life. with a stranger. i met him on the swinger site yesterday. he likes a woman in control and i have been wanting to flex my alpha muscles. we decided upon tease and denial, fluffy dom shit. he was really hot and lean, which is why i chose to see him first this week. he was gonna lie there and let me tease and edge him as long as i wanted and use his body for my pleasure. and that is exactly what i did.

now, time out, this is now the time i come clean about all the times ive acted out, or been in, scenarios where i am using someone for my pleasure, but have in fact been putting on a act as the porn version of my sexuality, to make sure the men i aleep with, have their fantaises fulfiled. This has however been at the detriment of the fulfilment of my fantaies, but i felt i wouldnt meet anyone who would be up for what im into and that i would feel shy or embarrased to behave like i needed to act out such fantasies. tonight, however, before 1 came over i had a revelation about who i really am. not who i think i am, who i feel like, what i think other people see, or what someone made me feel i was. i saw myself with loving eyes. and it feels incredible. i felt the power to be the woman in my fantasy.